Last week, I was at the mall. I was looking for a new bathing suit. I went into the GAP, and was looking at some. This lady next to me-- she was probably around 30, I don't know, was looking at them, too. She was on her cell phone discussing the bathing suits with her friend-- some female. She was looking for a bathing suit for her husband, apparently. She picked out this purple, Hawaiian print (flowers), one and said to her friend "I don't know if he would like this-- it's kind of gay looking, I don't know.."
She then looked at me and said "Is this bathing suit gay?" I thought that was a funny word choice for a grown woman. I responded "Yeah, a little bit..". She told her friend "Yeah, this guy next to me thinks it's gay!".
She then asked me if 15 other bathing suits were "gay".
I was so close to saying "You know, I am gay. People can be gay. Bathing suits can't be gay.", just to see her reaction.
I'm not gay, but what she was saying bothered me.
Does anyone kind of agree?
I need your opinion-- was what this lady said acceptable?
She was veri insencitiv horny. Yu shooda slaped er.
Reply:I am guilty of using the word "gay" like that.I also am 30.I don't think I would ask a total stranger,though.It would have been in better taste to ask your opinion,without using the word gay.I don't have a problem using it like that because it originally meant happy,and someone turned it into slang.The same with queer.What I think is stupid is the whole "phat" thing.Ooo,I won't say it,but you know.I think phat is THAT word!
Reply:Yes, it was inappropriate for a stranger to ask a question like that! She was just showing her ignorance and lack of class. I think it would have been funny to tell her you were gay! : )
Reply:Yeah...maybe her husband was gay and she was trying to dress him. Don't worry about it, unless she buys you one. Then send it to her husband.
Reply:I understand your point but I too say some things are gay. To me it justs means a little feminine when it is a mans clothing. It might offend you but try not to let some womans inconsideration bring you down the world is full of people who don't exactly think before they speak. Myself included.
Reply:just walk away
Reply:Unfortunately, the word gay has become slang about things looking "dorky" even though that is not the definition in the dictionary. I would assume she wasn't meaning to offend gay people however someday she will and I hope they stand up to her and make her think twice before misusing the word again! If it bothered you then it was not acceptable since she was speaking to you. However, since you didn't tell her that it bothered you, you can't fault her for continuing to use it.
Also, telling her a lie to make your point isn't right, either. You should just tell her that you do not feel comfortable in a conversation that misuses that word. That would get the point across better because she will know she is offending heterosexual people as well.
Reply:I don't just kind of agree, I totally agree! Just yesterday, a coworker told me in the breakroom that she was so disgusted by her last place of employment that she quit. What they had done, apparently was hold a celebration for two female employees who had gotten married. She said she couldn't celebrate for "those people" because their vows were not valid. She said all this assuming I would agree. I did not. "OMG are you gay!?" She asked me. I told her I wasn't but that I had friends who were and that I believed their feelings were valid. Then, this moron student trainee, butted into our conversation and said "Manson's feelings were real too." As if to say that if I accept gay people as valid, then I accept Manson's beliefs?! I was speechless! They then continued the conversation, on their own, saying that being gay was like an addiction or a fetish and that "they" couldn't help themselves! I finally got a hold of myself and said "Are you saying that being gay is comparable to being a murderous drug addict?"
Reply:I think that everyone is so afraid of offending gay people, and that in itself kind of offends me. I am gay, and i say that things are "gay", my friends say that things are gay, it's when people are afraid to say something to me or in front of me that bothers me. If this woman had meant what she was saying in a malicious way then you would have a point, but she wasn't. So everyone just needs to relax, of all the people i know, the gay people are the nicest, friendliest, most polite, fun-loving, etc., so unless the person has a real bug up their butt, they are not going to take offense to a slang term that doesn't really refer to them in any way. We are all just people, flesh and blood, so chill out and smile. : )
Reply:I agree! It was really rude of her to ask that of a total stranger, especially since 1) bathing suits themselves can't be gay, as you stated, and 2) the way she was asking made it clear that she thinks "gay" is a bad thing.
Good for you for being a socially conscious person and feeling uncomfortable when someone incorrectly used the word "gay"!
Reply:I totally agree w/ you!! She should have used the word "feminine" looking instead of "gay". You are right in saying that the word "gay" pertains to human beings, not inanimate objects, in this case clothes. You should have said what you were gonna say to her, then she probably would have realized how ignorant she is. I have friends who are "gay", both men %26amp; women, but I believe in LIVE %26amp; LET LIVE!! As long as they 're living within their own space %26amp; time, then leave them alone!! If they try to enter MY space, or disrespect my choices - then HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!
Hey, another thought just occurred to me.....maybe SHE was gay and was choosing a "butch-type, pseudo-femininine" swim suit for her "friend" on the phone - LOL:)
Hey, don't let another's ignorance bother you, by the time they pull their head out of their a-s-s, it's gonna be too late!!
Reply:I would have lied and told her I was gay..... just for the reaction, like you said. That was certainly an uncalled for statement. Chalk it up to ignornace on her part.
Reply:i think you should have told her that you were gay just to see her reaction and teach her a lesson.
Reply:Well, being a heterosexual woman, I know what she meant by asking that, basically, "Will people think my boyfriend is gay if he wears this print?" However, I would probably not have asked anyone fifteen times. At that point, whether you are gay or not, that is annoying and rude and I would have just told her I was over giving opinions on swimsuits.
Reply:I know what you mean...but perhaps she was using the term in the context of the meaning "lame" or "dumb" rather than "homosexual" or "feminine".
There are several things that came to mind that would have been funny to say to her:
When she asked "Is this bathing suit gay?", you could have answered:
1."It doesn't look overtly happy to me, but maybe it hides its emotions better than most".
2. "Well, I'm gay but I wouldn't sleep with it!"
3. "I don't know, let's go ask that fag hag over there. They have Gay-Dar you know!"
4. "Why don't you let your husband be the judge...If he likes it he's gay, if he doesn't he's homophobic"
Well, I guess the point I am making is that people aren't always aware that they are saying hurtful things...even if it seems so obvious to us. By letting them know they are treading on thin ice in a gentle or humorous manner is both compassionate and humane. On the other hand, when someone is being deliberately hurtful or insensitive, they deserve what they get.
Reply:I agree whole heartidly!
What if you were gay? People like her need a good foot in their mouth.
Reply:"Is this bathing suit gay?" is a perfectly acceptable question to ask.
None of the gay people I know would wear anything that looks "gay"...except maybe a shirt; but only occasionally in the summertime and never to work.
The only people, gay or straight, who wear gay clothes are metrosexuals.
The young (you said she was only 30) lady's husband is obviously not a metrosexual.
Reply:i can see why you or someone else would get offended, but "gay" has been used as a verb for a while now and people dont realize that it can bother some people. if it bothers someone that much then you can kindly ask them to use a more appropriate word. she couldve asked, "do you think this is a little too feminine?"
Reply:not it wasn't acceptable it was rude and insensitive she could have asked your opinion with out saying Gay
Reply:Yes, I agree. Gay should be used for people .
You must understand that some people try to be cool and that saying went out when I was 50.
Gay is who you are. Always assert yourself with a smile-I always thought gay people were nicer than most straight people.
Shine dear- the world will never catch up 100%
Reply:i agree with you 100% we all have our personal prefrence as for partners some people are gay or lesbian that is there personal choice but it upsets me highly when others slam them becuase they don't accept the personal choice this person made for themselves.
Reply:Gay means a lot of things, one of which is for the above.
I think you're over-reacting, as I feel she meant to say the suit was too flamboyant for her, but somehow (people being what we are), it just came out the wrong way.
Reply:I agree, but I would really have had a great time with it...why can't I ever get people to ask me things like this...I am always ready with a bon mot.
Reply:She was talking to another woman, trying to impress them. She was totally ignorant and rude. You are best served by ignoring her and her tiny little life.
Oh you could put on your most gay attitude and said "honey, you better watch your husband if I am around if you buy him one of these!"
Gah!!! How annoying for you.
You could also conveniently be non-english speaking, deaf, mute, or any other combination guaranteed to make her leave you alone.
Hehe
:)
Reply:Heck yeah! I can't belive she was asking you that! Maybe she thought that you were gay. I would have said something to her to let her know she was offending me %26amp; to please ask a sales person to help her. Then maybe she would have just left you alone or said sorry.
Reply:i think you should have said that, it would have been fun to watch her freak out.
Reply:I think she used the wrong word choice- she should have asked, "Is this bathing suit appropriate for a man?" I think she used 'gay' to mean tacky. I wouldn't let it bother you...you may never see her again.
Reply:When I was young, gay meant happy. Then, along came the crowd who thought homosexuals were gay -- that one stuck. Only a few months ago, I heard my teenage son say something about an item or an action by someone being gay. It didn't sound like he was complimenting, nor did it sound like he was calling anybody homosexual.
For anybody to use that expression the way the lady did seems odd to me.
But, legally, it's acceptable by the Bill of Rights. We have the freedom of speech. And if the hippies (and others of us in the '60s) could call it groovy when we felt good (and I heard plenty of 30-somethings and even 40-somethings using that word sometimes), then someone who is 30 can certainly use the word gay to describe something that doesn't meet expectations. Do you happen to know if she was talking to her teenage daughter at the time? Perhaps the person on the other end was used to using such vernacular.
If slang can be used by the young, slang can be used by anybody who has the wherewithal to speak.
Lynn
Reply:I agree with sparky dog.
Reply:i agree with you all the way and you should next time say i am not a guy i am a girl
Reply:She might have meant, stupid looking. When I say something is gay, i dont mean gay as in Homosexual, i mean stupid looking. and no I am not saying gays are stupid.
safety shoes
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment