Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Rules of the game?

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.





Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.





You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, but that's the way the game is played.








Here is a guide to the point system:





SIMPLE DUTIES


You make the bed.....+1





You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0





You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets....-1





You leave the toilet seat up.....-5





You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0





When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1





When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2 (Got the idea? Don't worry, it gets worse....)





You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5





In the snow .....+8





But return with beer.....-5





And no liners.....-25





You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0





You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing.....0





You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5





You pummel it with a six iron.....+10





It's her cat.....-40














AT THE PARTY


You stay by her side the entire party.....0





You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy.....-2





Named Tiffany.....-4





Tiffany is a dancer.....-10





With implants.....-18














HER BIRTHDAY


You remember her birthday.....0





You buy a card and flowers.....0





You take her out to dinner.....0





You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1





Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2





And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3





It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10














A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS


Go with a pal.....0





The pal is happily married.....+1





The pal is single.....-7





He drives a Ferrari.....-10





With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...-15














A NIGHT OUT WITH HER





You take her to a movie.....+2





You take her to a movie she likes.....+4





You take her to a movie you hate.....+6





You take her to a movie you like.....-2





It's called Death Cop III.....-3





Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9





You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15














YOUR PHYSIQUE


You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15





You develop a noticeable pot belly %26amp; exercise to get rid of it.....+10





You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30





You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800














THE BIG QUESTION - She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"


You hesitate in responding.....-10





You reply, "Where?".....-35





You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".....-100





Any other response.....-20














COMMUNICATION - When she wants to talk about a problem:


You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0





You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5





You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50





You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100





You have fallen asleep.....-200














IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH


You talk.....-100





You don't talk.....-150





You spend time with her......-200





You don't spend time with her.....-500





You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000 GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!

The Rules of the game?
Check the rulebook for more....lol
Reply:A guy is going to lose anyway!!=D
Reply:what is the question? haha
Reply:Now that I can relate to!


Brilliant.
Reply:Ha ha funny one. A woman always plays to win!!








:-)))
Reply:me and my husband laughed over it. it was sooooooo funny.hahahaha!!
Reply:Tough being a guy i guess.
Reply:I'll reply to a non-question with a non-answer:





-------------


The Perfect Day According To...





HER:


8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses


9:00 5 pounds lighter on the scale


9:30 Light breakfast


11:00 Sunbathe


12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe


1:45 Shopping


2:30 Run into boyfriend's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs.


3:00 Facial, massage, nap


7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing


10:00 Make love


11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms


12:00 Sleep





HIM:


10:00 Wake up


10:02 Oral sex


10:10 Big Breakfast


11:30 Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters


2:15 Enormous lunch


3:15 Oral sex


3:25 Play sports with the guys


4:30 Drink beer with the guys


6:30 Meet Claudia Schiffer


6:40 Oral sex


6:50 Huge dinner, more beer


11:00 Full on, get down, gorilla sex


11:10 Sleep
Reply:if you have a girl friend bet she finds you to be a very a funny guy 1,000,000 points
Reply:With this one there are no right responses from a guy. He will lose end of story. A woman can hold things over a guy. Such as not giving him any action if he makes her mad. So the best thing for a guy to do is just concede the loss every time and stay on her good side.
Reply:That will be the day when my hubby listens to me when sports is on !! Any idea how many times I have to repeat the question?? The way he looks at me when I ask him what I just said it's priceless!! He likes to make these grunting noises!! We make the grunting noises when they ask us " Did you see that play!"
Reply:Hahahahhaaaa, you make my life sound hard lol.


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